Can we make fast food
vegan and delicious? Let’s talk about that.( music playing )Good… mythical morning. Mythical beast, today is
all about the art of the hack because, just in a bit,
we are gonna be hacking the complicated brains
of children in order to convince them
to eat their broccoli. And later we’ll be
playing a game about strange things that hack
the lifespans of human beings, – AKA kill them.
– Ugh. But first,
we’re hacking fast food as a public service
to vegans everywhere. Because, up until today,
finding a delicious, vegan-friendly item
on a fast food menu is like finding
a tramp stamp on a nun, harder than you think,
but it is possible. It’s time for… Okay, here are
our constraints, we’re only gonna use
items that are available at the fast food restaurants
that we are hacking. And,
just for clarification, vegan means food items that
contain no animal products, no meat, no seafood,
no milk products like cheese, butter or sour cream,
no eggs, no honey. Nothing that has been
made from or squeezed out of any animal is allowed. Now, there are no guarantees
that these vegan items didn’t come in contact
with some non-vegan items, you know, at the factory
or some place, at the restaurant, but they
are listed as vegan items. Yeah, okay,
time for talking is up, time for hacking is now. Arby’s is classically known
for one thing, having the meats, but, today,
the meats will not be had because we’re about
the create the Arby’s
vegan loaded crostinis. – Ooh.
– Very fancy, very vegan. – Nice.
– Because I can’t do
two things at once, while I explain
how this is done for you, I will also be doing
that for Rhett while, Rhett,
you’re doing this. So, first of all, you’re gonna want to
establish your work area with some Arby’s wrappers. You do not want to create a sandwich or these crostinis
on the Arby’s table. Let me just point out
that it says “Meat craft…” You don’t want to
eat off those tables. …on the freaking thing. I mean, this is
almost sacrilegious that we’re doing this
with Arby’s stuff. I guess you could
turn it over. No, I like it,
I like the irony. Okay, and then you wanna order
Arby’s Potato Cakes, which are basically
fried, formed hash browns. These are gonna serve
as the base like our little
crunchy, toasty part of the crostini. After that,
you’re gonna wanna order Arby’s Roast Beef Gyro,
or Hero, but you’re gonna
wanna ask for the… I think it’s
“gyro” at Arby’s. Yeah. The lettuce, tomato,
and onions on the side. And then you’re gonna
take those, take Arby’s utensils
in order to chop them up into small, crostini
topping-size pieces, okay? Now, by Arby’s utensils, do you mean this fork
that was over here? – Yes.
– They don’t have a knife
at freakin’ Arby’s? No, Arby’s made
the strategic choice to not give their
clientele knives. – Smart!
– And you know what? I’m with them on that. As clientele myself,
I’m not allowed a knife. The next thing
that you order is the Fire-Roasted
Philly Sandwich, but you need to order the
red and yellow roasted peppers on the side. And these, you don’t have to
chop up with the fork, it doesn’t seem
that easy. It’s not easy,
they’re gonna look at you weird. No, you know what? You can get
away with anything at Arby’s. – Yeah, if you’re in
a corner booth.
– There’s nothing you can do at an Arby’s that’s gonna
get you kicked out, try it! Yeah, I do recommend
going to a corner booth and making grunting noises
while you do this. Okay, and you want me
take this… – Take that.
– …this amalgamation
and put it on this? Yeah.
I don’t love tomatoes, but I’m taking one
for the team. Oh, gosh, look at that. As you can see, I didn’t do
a great job at that. Maybe mine… just go
real light on the tomatoes. Light on the tomato. But I like onion. Okay, so,
I got some onion for you. And then here are the roasted
red and yellow peppers, which,
as the next garnishment, you’re gonna just… lay those over,
just flop ’em over on top. Just flop ’em over
on top. And then, finally,
you’re gonna wanna order a Jalapeño
Roast Beef Slider, which I have right here, but order those
jalapeños on the side so they never touch it! Gotta keep
those vegans happy. And then,
these jalapeños, you’re just gonna…
you’re just gonna tip-tap, tap those
onto there, Rhett. These meats that I got
sitting over here are not gonna go to waste. In “Good Mythical More,”
we’re gonna create Meat Everest, a breakfast sandwich, so we ain’t vegan,
we’re gonna eat that in “More.” But, for now,
we are a little vegan. Our balsamic
vina… vinaigrette. Vina-vinaigrette. Balsamic reduction
is gonna be Arby’s Red Ranch Sauce,
which doesn’t come in a packet. Now, I’ve never
heard of this, this is new to me as someone
who’s had the meats many times. – You’ve gotta ask for this.
– And the meat sweats. They squirt it out
in the back. – ( imitates squirt noise )
– Is there like a Red Ranch guy? Does he have a mask on? – Right.
– That should be your mascot. It’s just one guy,
he’s just waiting
for somebody to order it. I’m gonna do
the drizzle technique, I’m just gonna take this
and just… Ooh. Yeah,
you’re doing great, I don’t need to add
anything to that. Yeah, I’m glad
you let me do this. I think everybody is. You’re a good drizzler. All right, grab– Oh, this is yours
’cause it has no tomato. Oh, yeah, look at that, it’s like
we’re at a party. Like, if you dim the lighting
in the Arby’s… – Quite a party.
– …played some
classical music… put some table toppers
on there… – Let’s taste it and see.
– We dunked it, now we “sunked” it.( music playing )Mmm! Mmm. It has a little
Arby’s-ness to it. – Yeah, it does.
– But I’m not
complaining about that. ‘Cause it’s a hash brown
under there. The hash brown… – Really dominates.
– Pretty hash brown forward. With lots of sugariness. But you got that pepper in there
and that jalapeño kick. I’m gonna dip it right in
this Red Ranch Sauce. Ooh, man,
you’re going all in. You just got rid of everything
that made it a crostini – and now you’re just
dipping a tater tot…
– Yeah. – …into sugar.
– Now I’m just at Arby’s again. – But you’re still vegan!
– I’m still vegan! Have you ever gone into
a Wendy’s and noticed how all the burgers
are called things like “Dave’s Double,”
or “Dave’s Single”? I thought it was Wendy’s! Back off Dave,
ya thirsty! Either way… they don’t have any vegan
burger options, until now! This is the Wendy’s
Dave’s vegan burger. – Okay.
– Okay, here’s what
you’re gonna do, you’re gonna get a Power
Mediterranean Chicken Salad. – Check.
– Get the chicken and
feta cheese on the side, – keep it vegan.
– Check. You’re gonna order
a baked potato with chives. – Check.
– And you’re going to order two Dave’s Single Burgers
with no cheese, no mayo and then substitute
an extra whole bun for the meat. So this is a bun burger. Mmm! It’s great being vegan. – You can go ahead…
– That looks tasty. …go ahead and take those
buns out of the middle there ’cause we’re gonna use
those in a second. And you need to do the same
thing with the other one. – Gotcha, captain.
– All right, things are
gonna get tricky now. You’re gonna have to get to know
a Wendy’s employee well enough to be able to
use the blender. Just tell ’em
you know Wendy, that worked for me. All right, so you’re gonna
go into the back… – Prove it
– …and you’re gonna
break out the blender. Link, I want you to take
that Power Mediterranean
Chicken Salad, take all the toppings,
so not the lettuce
and the tomato, but all the toppings
there in the middle, the onions and
the… the chick peas – and that kinda stuff.
– Uh-huh. And you’re going to kinda
just use your clean hand, I’m sure it’s clean, and dump it into… What?
I always clean my hands. Yeah, I wasn’t being
facetious at all. Then I touch my hair,
maybe my nose. Dump it into the blender, and I want you to get just a few
pieces of lettuce in there, along with that,
and then one tomato because we want to make sure
the moisture content is exactly right. This recipe has been
well thought out. There’s a lot of good stuff
on top of this salad. Oh, yeah, Link,
it’s so good. It’s gonna make
lots of roughage. Now I’m gonna take this whole
baked potato with chives, I’m gonna dump that
in there as well, and then you’re gonna
take the interior buns that were your meat
in those Dave Singles and dump that
into the blender as well. That is– we’re gonna start
with just two buns? – No.
– Those are the ones that we’re
gonna make the thing with, so I just wanna use… This is just a bun in a bun. – Yes, okay.
– So we’re gonna grind that bread. – And put this up here.
– All the way in there. Make sure we’ve got full buns
to make the sandwich. – I do.
– And we need this bun as well. Oh, you wanna go full bread
right at the top? – That’s what
we talked about, yes.
– Okay. We’re gonna do four pieces
of bread in there. And now, you are
going to blend that for 30 seconds. Okay, now,
you’re gonna take… – Yeah.
– ..that out and I want you
to make two piles on your…
your surface here, okay? But you know what? I have
something to get that out with. – Wait for it.
– I have something
to get that out with. You’re gonna bring
your spatula. Spatulas are very useful
for fighting off the teens that are making out
in the Wendy’s parking lot. Personal experience
with that. Ooh, yeah, dollop it
right into that. So thick,
just like I like it. – Oh, gosh.
– Ooh, it’s… It’s almost like
mashed potatoes. This is a really
good consistency. Mm! We’re going to turn these
into two burger patties. But you got to lube your
hands up, you’ve done that… with salad dressing. We’ve got the dressing, which is basically like
a balsamic vinaigrette from that salad
that we ordered. You’re gonna dip
your “fingies” into that. You wanna make the two things
or you want help? Um, yeah, you make one,
I’ll make one. So I’m gonna get rid of
this junk here. So there’s
your work surface. Again, you don’t want to
work on a Wendy’s table. Okay, so let’s just
kinda lube our fingers up because, otherwise,
the burgers will stick to your… – Just get it all over
– Your paws. And then just,
you know, just… Take half of it
back to your zone, your cook station
as they call it. – Oh, gosh, this…
– Cook station? – Tess:Yeah. Yeah.
– You call it a cook station? This is absolutely
remarkable how well this is
working so far. Look at that!You know, after
the food flip thing we did,I have so much confidence.– Look at that, guys.
– But you lost. – Link:But I just…
– Rhett:I find that
But I felt like
I should’ve won.That you gained confidence
from that experience. Look at that,
that’s a good-looking patty. So yours is a little bit
bigger than mine, not a problem,
just set it down right here. Now, this is
the really tricky part because you’re gonna
have to talk your way into using
their deep fryer. And this is where a Wendy’s
tattoo comes in very handy. – Seriously?
– Just show ’em
your Wendy’s tattoo and they’ll let you
use the deep fryer. Nice! Man, quite an investment
on your part, but it looks like
it paid off. Okay, Link, I’m going to
set this right up here and I’m going to
place our patties… right here. That’s a nice patty, Neal. Call me Patty. – And I’m going to…
– Patty McNeal. …drop ’em in for one minute. Nice! –( clock ticks )
– You’ll be able to get tongs with the Wendy’s tattoo, that gets you pretty far. Um… and then
I’m gonna just take this. Crispy. – Ooh, yeah.
– Look at that. I’m gonna set it
right there. – Oh, gosh, they look so good.
– Ooh. They look so
freakin’ incredible. Look at that, man. – Now we just…
– Pull that over there. …place the bun atop. Oh, gosh,
we did it backwards. – Gotta turn these over.
– Ooh, yeah, that’s looking nice. Look at that. That looks good,
doesn’t it? That is a good-looking
vegan burger. Dink her
and sink her. I don’t know if this is
worth that Wendy’s tattoo. ( chuckles ) Yeah, it’s pretty bread-y. But you know what? It’s not bad
at all, though. It’s not bad. I just don’t want
so much bread. Like, if I make it
there’s an idea. Mmm, that’s good. Really good. Needs a little bacon. Yeah, it could
really use some. But, in terms
of presentation, you could lure a vegan into
a Wendy’s with one of these. Put it on a string. Mm-hmm, then kill ’em
in the back. Creating a vegan menu item
at McDonald’s is a tough nut
to crack, which is ironic because
nuts are typically vegan. Oh! Even McDonald’s French fries
aren’t vegan because they’re made
with a beef flavoring that contains milk. Ooh, tricky, McDonald’s. But, in looking
at their menu, we have realized that McDonald’s
has everything necessary to make a delectable
vegan shake. Let’s get our dessert on. Very quickly, you just
get a black ice coffee, dump that in a blender. We liked the blender from
Wendy’s so much, we took it. Yeah, keep the ice
and all that in there. Then throw in two apple pies,
which, yes, are vegan because they use
vegetable oil – and no butter.
– No butter. It’s pretty crazy,
but still tasty. And, you know what? Let’s add
a hotcake syrup… in there. And then we’re just going to–
Yeah, look at that. Blend her up, Jimmy! Throw the top in there, throw it on here. Just give it
a nice… blend.( clock ticks )And, if you want to
make this for kids, you can add
a Happy Meal toy. Blend that puppy
right up. – Ooh…
– Ooh, that’s nice. …doggy. Here we go. And there we go. The vegans are
lining up outside, Rhett. They’re beating
down the door. And then you can drizzle
a little bit more on top just for looks…
and giggles. And taste. Then then grab
yourself a straw… toast your boy. Toast your boy. Here’s to you,
vegans, because… you’ve made
a principled choice that’s made it difficult,
until today. That’s right. Mmm. And, of course, that is amazing. This is the most amazing thing
I’ve ever created. It’s a little sweet. Including my children. Stick around because
we’re about to stop at nothing to make sure kids
eat their broccoli.There’s nothing like
the sweet smell of success,unless you’ve smelled
our cologne.Grab Mythical No. 9