Today we’re gonna make out
with gross things. Both:
Let’s talk about that.( music playing )Good mythical morning! – And Happy Valentine’s Day,
– Yeah. We are packing a lot of love
into today’s episode. It’s like one big
romance sandwich. We’re gonna bake
a meat lasagna in front of a huge
industrial fan, and see if we can guess
marriage proposal answers. But first we’re
going old-school, way back to the ’80s. I’m talking about
before iPhones even existed. It was a time when people
would sit around
in a circle at parties and use empty bottles
for more than just recycling. They used them
to kiss people. Yeah, right now we’re gonna play
a game of Spin the Bottle like you’ve
never seen before and it just might
make us barf. Pucker up, y’all. It’s time to play… Joining us for our gross food
make out sesh we have Ethan and Hila
from H3H3. ( Rhett cheering ) Thanks for hanging out
with us, guys. – Thank you.
– Thanks for bringing us here. Did you know that
we were gonna do this before you got here? – Yeah, they warned us.
– Link: Okay, good. – We were warned in advance
– Kind of. that I was gonna be forced
to cheat on my wife on Valentine’s Day. – But that’s okay, you know.
– Yeah. But at least
it won’t be awkward. – No.
– I guess. – Involving a mannequin.
– Yeah. Speaking of awkward,
I should probably acknowledge the fifth person
with us here. – Yes.
– This is Andy. Our androgynous mannequin. – Say hi, Andy.
– Hi, guys! It’s great to be here
with you today. I’m looking forward to some
positive consensual touching which frankly will
really hit the spot
after the week I’ve had. Oh, boy. Andy:
Oh, boy. So, is Andy short
for androgynous Uh, no, it’s short for Jamie. Ah, okay.
Of course. That makes sense. All right, here’s
how this is gonna work. Please don’t make fun of me. We’re playing
Spin the Bottle but in our version
of Spin the Bottle Andy will be spinning
the bottle every time. So we all get to kiss Andy
every round. – Yay!
– Here’s the thing about Andy, Andy is always going
to have gross food on… their face. I’ve been doing a lot
of shame eating this week because as I’ve mentioned
I have had quite a week. Oh, boy. – Wow.
– Okay– Oh, I’ve had quite a week. – Okay. All right.
– Oh, boy! Okay, Andy Jamie. Let’s get to it. Oh, my gosh! Andy, what have you done
to your mouth? I have a secret substance
on my mouth that I hope someone will eat off
with their mouth. If you’re wondering why
I’m still speaking so clearly– Yeah, I am. Don’t worry about it. All right,
spin the bottle. Spin the bottle, Andy. See who you’re gonna
make out with. – Oh, my God.
– Oh, no. Please. Please, Andy. – Oh, gosh.
– This is intense. This is the first round.
We’re in trouble. Usually when you play
this game you want it. – Right.
– Well, that depends on
who spins it. – Oh, my God, no.
– Come on. Ethan? No!
Rhett! Gosh! – Why, Andy?
– Put your mouth on my mouth. I can’t even watch. That doesn’t even
sound consensual. – He had mentioned consensual.
– Oh, gosh. It stinks. I’m getting sick
just watching this. You’re opening your mouth
at first? No, that’s
not how you kiss. – ( Andy moans )
– Ethan: Oh, no. ( Ethan and Link gag ) ( Andy moans ) – Andy, why did–
– Wait, you swallowed it. ( grunting ) Happy Valentine’s Day,
everyone. Look at this. – Look at the aftermath of this.
– Is it cat food? Thank you for access
to your tender lips. Which is really making me
feel better after the week I’ve had.
Oh, boy. What is it, Andy? – It tastes like vomit.
– It’s chopped pig liver. – ( Rhett grunts )
– Wow! Jamie, you’ve eaten
something else already. That’s right, I’ve got another
mystery substance on my mouth, and you’re gonna have to lick it
off with your sweet food hole. – Maybe not me.
– Spin the bottle, Andy. Let’s decide who’s gonna
make out with mustard face – or whatever that is.
– Whatever this is looks a lot more tolerable than
whatever you went through. May have to go again, though. – Come on, baby.
– Double dip. – Come on.
– No. – Link: Ethan? Rhett?
– Ethan: No! – Ethan: No, no, no.
– Link: Me? You! – Hila!
– Hila! Hila. – I was just–
– Okay. – We were saying–
– You’re okay with this? What can I do?
It’s the rules of the game. She’s asking permission. Experimentation is normal
within a marriage. Now come on and give me
that sweet food hole. Hila, don’t make me jealous now. This sounds so weird. I do recommend
making eye contact. Your marriage will
be stronger after this. Oh, God. – Okay.
– Get it. Look, she’s touching
a little bit. Hold the bicep. ( Andy moans ) That was a little peck. – It’s mustard I think.
– Oh, it’s just mustard. – Oh, just mustard?
– Just mustard? It is Chinese hot mustard. Rhett: Okay. – It wasn’t that bad.
– How was Andy as a kisser,
by the way? – You better say it sucked.
– Could be better. Thank you. Okay, it looks like Andy has
gotten into something else. I will say
that we replace Andy’s head with a new head
every single time. That’s another feature of Andy. – They’re very versatile.
– Right. Just so we’re not all eating
off the same mouth. – Fresh faces.
– Hila: That’s good to know. I was under
the impression that we were gonna be sharing
mannequins when I came. That was kinda one
of the selling points. – Sorry to disappoint you.
– I have herpes. Me, too.
I mean, let’s build upon that. Let’s make
a super herpes. There’s different
strains, man. – I’m sorry I brought it up.
– They get stronger every time. All right, Andy,
spin the bottle. – Oh wow.
– The good spinner. All right what do you got?
Nice chunky brown substance. I’m excited. I frankly hope that it lands
on me if I’m being honest. Link: Jamie, it looks
like you have rabies. Or super herpes? Rhett:
Oh, gosh. Me! This is working out
very well. – Yeah.
– You’re foaming at the mouth. Bring me that sweet chew slot. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Give in to the tenderness. Mmm, gosh. – This is sick.
– Make it as sensual and nasty
as you want it to be. Don’t touch my privates,
though. ( Andy moans ) Oh, man, that– – ( Ethan gags )
– ( Rhett laughs ) ( Andy moans ) My God. Got a little right there. It is glue! What you been eating glue for,
Andy? This is not glue. This is dog toothpaste. – What?
– Andy: Peanut butter flavored. There is no peanut butter
flavor in it! – There is a peanut butter
flavored dog toothpaste.
– Get away! I smell
the peanut butter. Are you serious?
I do not taste any
peanut butter. – I smell it.
– It tastes like glue! – You just–
– Dogs have been lied to! All right, Andy,
spin the damn thing. I don’t know– I’ve never seen a black edible
so I’m concerned. – A black edible?
– There’s a black edible. – And probability says…
– It’s gonna be you. – Ethan: It’s gonna be me?
– Hila: Keep moving. – Ethan: Okay.
– Rhett: This is too perfect. There’s someone
under the table. It’s too perfect
that we’ve all gotten one. There’s not anyone
under the table. Not rigged.
It is not rigged. Put your num-num zone
on my black edible. Andy.
All right, Andy. Can you close your eyes
while we do this? ‘Cause I find it awkward when
someone’s staring me right down. I’m sorry, the eyes are
the window to the soul. I will be keeping them open. ( Ethan sniffs )
Oh! Oh! Whoa! What is this
playing hard to get? She got into some
black magic. Link:
They’re possessed. – Give me that num-num slot.
– I’m sorry, Hila. – ( Andy moans )
– ( Ethan gags ) Link:
Go in again, Ethan. Link:
There you go. ( moans )
Oh, First Corinthians. Ethan:
It’s fishy. – Oh.
– Rhett: Uh-huh. – Fishy?
– I think I know what it is. – I think I know what it is.
– Black and fishy? I don’t know
what’s black and fishy. It’s squid ink. That is right, it is squid ink. That’s a bodily function
in my mouth. All right, Andy. – Spin again.
– I’ve seen these lips before. Link: This looks like a repeat
from round one. It’s a different
gross substance. This, whatever it is,
I don’t want it. And I think
that Rhett should have it. – No, no, no.
– Rhett should have it, not me. – Ethan: No! No!
– Link: Ethan! Ethan! Rhett! Why do I have to have the chunky stuff? – I willed it.
– You guys get like sausage, and I get like chunky,
meaty stuff. Give in
to the chunky pleasure. Gosh, Andy! Give in to my chunky pleasure. Your habits are so wrong. Stop mouth shaming me. I live my life like I want. I live my truth. Now give in
to the chunky pleasure. ( Ethan gags ) I’m already gagging. Link, you have to watch.
Don’t– You need to look into the sun
on this one. ( Hila screams ) ( Andy moaning ) ( Ethan gags) Gosh! ( Andy sighs ) Thank you, that was
very tender and sensual. – What is it?
– It’s a– it’s– – ( gagging )
– Ethan: Don’t–
You’re eating it. It’s a food–
it’s a food for animal. I’ll give you a hint. It rhymes with bam fart. – It’s gotta be cat food.
– What? It’s a lamb heart. Whoa! You are getting all
the worst things by far. I got pig liver and lamb heart.
What did I do to you? It’s Valentine’s Day! Heart, see?
It’s a tie-in. It’s clever. And I need a good laugh
after the week I’ve had. Oh, boy. All right, Andy, you’ve clearly
been having a tough week. You’ve been teasing us,
you’ve got stuff all
over your face. What’s going on
with you? Well, I just got back
from the doctor and I learned that
I have turbo herpes. That’s pretty aggressive
sounding. Yeah, it’s really bad. I’m the first known case. Is that what that is? Because if so,
join the club. Oh no, yeah, this is
just another gross food. All right,
spin the bottle, Jamie Andy. Hopefully, Link, if it’s me or you we can help augment
this case of herpes– – Yes.
– Yeah. Mm-hmm. New levels
of infectiousness. Well, hopefully
then it’s you, because I don’t want– I think– Link:
No! Yes! – Hila!
– Hila. You have a chance
to redeem yourself after that first tepid kiss. Really get into this one. You’re gonna love this.
I can tell. ( sniffing )
I just wanna know
what you’re in for. ( gags )
Oh, God. You were gonna try
to pie face me? We can do this in the closet for
seven minutes if that’ll help. Get in there, Hila. And don’t be like timid
like last time. Get in there.
Come on, make me jealous. I don’t want you to watch. ( Andy moans ) Andy really gets into it. ( Andy moans ) Now I think you should
kiss this one, too. Let your husband taste.
I’d love to watch that. You make a beautiful couple. – Oh what is it?
– What do you taste?
Tell me. – I have no idea.
– It’s… It’s kinda like Play-Dohy.
Kinda Earthy. – Soil?
– It could be. But it’s too moist. Andy, what is it? It is Fly Pupa. Oh gosh! – I’m sorry, what is Pupa?
– What? The beginnings of a baby fly. – What?
– Pupa. Congratulations, guys!
You’re gonna have flies! You’re gonna have flies
in your tummy. Oh, that’s perfect.
That’s perfect for my herpes. Can you believe they were
such good sports? Thank you to Ethan
and Hila Klein from H3H3 for getting their gross
food smooch on. – Yes, thank you.
– Yes. Make sure you
follow them on Instagram and Twitter
@H3H3Productions. And you can check us out
on the H3 podcast live on Twitch tomorrow,
that’s February 15th. And next up,
love is in the air. We’re baking a romantic dinner
in front of an industrial fan. Will you join us? I would absolutely love
to join you guys. It’d be a pleasure. Link:Breakfast just got betterwith the GMM mug
in orange and black.Available at Mythical.Store.