Alright. Isn’t the gas tank on the other side? No. *girlfriend sighs* OLIVIA: Maybe you should just turn around? BOYFRIEND: Uhm… No, I got it. *imitates gas guzzling* You’re not pumping any gas… No, I am, babe. No, you’re making sounds with your mouth. That’s crazy. *imitates gas guzzling* Uh… there, done! See, we’re good. *engine whines* *engine whines* Every Gas Station Ever. Okay, ten, come on ten. Come on, ten! AH! Dang it! Alright, I can go for 20. Alright, let’s go, let’s go. UGH! COME ON! HOO! Oh, let’s go.
*groans* F*CK! COME ON! THAT’S THE MONEY SHOT! AW, MAN! *handle clinks* NO! UGH, COME ON! Aaaannd… Oh, nice. *gas trickles* Nice. *sniffs* Oh, I love the smell of gas stations. *door chimes* Hey, do you have a bathroom
I can use? Well, alright. *urine trickles* What are you doing? That’s the key! Oh, this toilet’s like a big key chain. Oh, that’s cute. Well I can’t stop now, can I? You know, I’m already peein’. *excrement falls down*
OOOH! I see it come out the back, leaking on– SHAYNE: Yeah, ’cause this doesn’t, this isn’t
attached to any plumbling, is it? Do they ever change the squeegee water? Yeah, so I’m grabbing coffee now and
then I’m headed to the meeting. *coffee sizzles*
SH*T! Sorry, nothing, gotta go. Hey, do you guys sell clothes here? *attendant sighs* Yeah, over there. Thank you! Good morning, sirs! *dramatic rock music* You wanted to talk to me about the
HR complaints against me? Also, does everyone needed any dick pills?
They’re very cheap! Sorry, I’m late. You too, huh? Me too, what? Do I wanna car wash? PFFT, No! Hi, can I get a
Dragon Shart Energy Drink, please? *attendant sighs* Oh sorry, can I get the
Tropical Space Orgy flavor? *attendant sighs* And sugar-free, if you could? *attendant sighs* DAMIEN: Yeah. Oh, how do we? Can I just go around real quick, or what? Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, you’re gonna… *energy drink glugs* *straw slurps* ATTENDANT: That’ll be $3.69. *straw slurps* *change rattles* Do you have like a napkin? We’re closed now. Aw, man… There’s a dead body in the bathroom. Weird, there was two earlier. I always worry about the quality of gas
at these weird off-brand gas stations. *boyfriend sighs*
It’ll be fine, babe. 63 octane, isn’t that really low? Isn’t it 87 regular? *boyfriend sighs*
The numbers don’t matter. Okay, it’s all just a scam. Alright, whatever you say! Alright! See, totally fine. *car rumbles* *car explodes* We’re like ‘AMBM’, am I right? OH, SH*TS, SH*TS DUDE! God, come on! Come on big B, give it to me. Don’t disappoint mama. Oh, come, a winner, a winner. Oh my God, yes! I won three free scratchers! SCRATCH, SCRATCH, BABY! COME ON! OLIVIA: Ugh, I’m already late to work. Man, tell me about it. SOME PEOPLE GOT THINGS TO DO! You’ve gotta be kidding me. DANG IT! Okay fine, I’m done Mr. “Important person has
places to be!”, bleh! Oh my God… Some people are so inconsiderate, you know? The nerve on that one. Yo, I’ll take 40 scratchers, please? OLIVIA: We should just turn the car around. No, babe! That’d be crazy. Where’s the pump? I’ve got it. SHAYNE: I’m gonna do this. AAAHHH. Neither of you work here. Yes, we do. – Oh, not anymore.
– Uh-uh. – *in unison* OOOOH…
DAMIEN: You’re fired. Go. Leave the pills. – Oh, now why would I do that?
– Why we would be leaving the pills?– Call security. HOLD ON, WHA-WHAT?! *laughs* Ooh, that’s a wicked toosiee right there. SHAYNE: OOH, GROWLER! AHH! SNAKES. SHAYNE: HOOO! That’s a muscle boy right there. That is a whole muscle boy. That is the leaning tower of sh*t! *laughs*